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Remember, it takes a village!

– Derek Bernard

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Listen The AVOF Father 2 Father Conference Calls via YouTube

The topics discussed during this call by the fathers were:

Note: 2 mothers joined our conference call

  • What was you father like? (how did the relationship you have with your father, influence how you view parenthood)
  • Investing in your children’s future (life insurance, banking/investments, college plan and more)
  • Time vs Money (Whats more important to you….more time with children and less money OR more money and less time with you??????????????

Continue reading “Listen The AVOF Father 2 Father Conference Calls via YouTube”

A Father Looking To Become A police officer….Killed by One

By Lindsey Bever and Alex Horton (via WashiongtonPost.com) November 14 at 3:07 PM

Jemel Roberson had dreams of becoming a police officer. He was killed by one.

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The 26-year-old was working as an armed security guard Sunday when he tried to intervene during a shooting outside a Chicago-area bar. Officers arrived, and — officials later said — saw a man with a gun. A Midlothian police officer opened fire after ordering the man to drop the weapon.

That man was Roberson. He was trying to subdue one of the suspects, investigators later said, when the officer shot him. Roberson later died at a hospital.

Now — amid an uproar and questions about police training and operations — the city’s police chief said he is mourning the loss of Roberson.

Police chief ‘saddened’ after officer killed armed guard — ‘a brave man who was doing his best’

“What we have learned is Jemel Roberson was a brave man who was doing his best to end an active shooter situation at Manny’s Blue Room,” Midlothian Police Chief Daniel Delaney wrote Tuesday on Facebook. “The Midlothian Police Department is completely saddened by this tragic incident and we give our heartfelt condolences to Jemel, his family and his friends. There are no words that can be expressed as to the sorrow his family is dealing with.”

The department has not released the name of the officer, who has been put on administrative leave.

[‘They basically saw a black man with a gun’: Police kill armed guard while responding to call]

According to a federal lawsuit filed by Beatrice Roberson, her son was working security early Sunday at Manny’s Blue Room Bar in Robbins, Ill., when “some patrons shot the bartender and others were shot.”

The suit, filed in U.S. District Court in the Northern District of Illinois, says Roberson’s civil rights were violated.

Family attorney Gregory Kulis said Roberson’s mother just wants to know “what happened and why it happened,” adding: “If somebody took your son, you’d want answers, too.”

Investigators said the police response began after reports of gunfire in a dispute at the bar after 4 a.m. on Sunday. Officers from two departments, including Midlothian’s, arrived to find Roberson armed and trying to subdue a suspect in a parking lot.
The officer who killed Roberson “gave the armed subject multiple verbal commands to drop the gun and get on the ground” before he fired, according to a preliminary report by the Illinois State Police that cited witnesses. Officers provided medical aid to multiple victims, including Roberson, the report found.

But the report did not say how long the officer waited before he fired or whether he identified himself as a police officer. Investigators also appear to distance officers from accountability to determine who is a threat, and who is not.

Roberson wore “no markings readily identifying him as a security guard,” the report found.

Witnesses have also said they tried to warn officers that Roberson was trying to help.

“Everybody was screaming out, ‘He was a security guard,’ and they basically saw a black man with a gun and killed him,” Adam Harris told WGN.
Jemel Roberson and his son, Tristan. (Avontea Boose via AP)
Kulis, the family attorney, said Roberson was doing what he was supposed to when he was shot and killed.

“He was a hero. He probably saved lives,” Kulis said.
People close to Roberson said he had hoped to become a police officer. “And lo and behold, a police officer comes in and kills him,” Kulis said. “That’s a tragedy.”

The incident closely tracks with theoretical situations that advocates have suggested would curtail violence — a weapon is drawn, shots are fired, and then a “good guy with a gun” steps in to help before the police can respond.

That ideal doesn’t account for the chaotic unknowns when police arrive and can’t tell a “good guy” with a gun from a “bad guy” with a gun.

The incident may become a touchstone in a persistent debate about how places such as schools, nightclubs and houses of worship should steel themselves against gunmen.

[Two Oklahoma citizens killed an active shooter, and it’s not as simple as it sounds]

That debate has gained urgency during the past year, as President Trump and others have repeatedly said security guards — specifically armed ones — could have prevented the nation’s mass shootings; this year, Trump tweeted his support for the controversial idea of arming teachers.
The Sunday incident has already provoked concerns that black men — even when legally carrying firearms or employed in positions that allows their use — can still become targets for police fire.

jeremal rob

Roberson’s friends said he had talked all his life of becoming a police officer.

“Now you have to question the police and what they’re actually doing,” said Christian Torres, 21. “This is someone who was on their side.”

Roberson had a valid gun owner’s license but did not have a concealed-carry permit, WGN reported. In Minnesota in 2016, Philando Castile was killed by an officer during a traffic stop seconds after he told an officer there was a weapon in the car.

The Cook County Sheriff’s Office and the Robbins Police Department, neither of which responded to requests for comment, are investigating the shooting that first drew the police to the scene, Delaney said.
Illinois State Police will investigate Roberson’s killing by the Midlothian officer.

Roberson is one of at least 840 people who have been shot and killed by police so far in 2018 and one of at least 19 in Illinois, according to a Washington Post database.

At least 181 of those shot and killed by police this year — 22 percent — were black. The U.S. population is about 13 percent black.

[‘We are armed now’: In Kentucky, shootings leave a black church and the white community around it shaken]

More than half of those killed — 459 people, including Roberson — were said to be armed when police killed them.

The oldest of four children, Roberson grew up in Wicker Park, a neighborhood in the North Side of Chicago about 27 miles from Robbins. His family said he was in law school and was a role model for his peers, inspiring young men to become involved with the church.
“He was dedicated to the Wicker community in a real positive way.” said Malik Harris, 20, a cousin of Roberson’s.

The Rev. Marvin Hunter told the Associated Press that Roberson played organ at his church and others in the area. He called him an “upstanding” young man who was working to regain custody of his son and earn money for a new apartment.

Hunter is the great-uncle of Laquan McDonald, a black teenager who was shot and killed by a white Chicago police officer in 2014.

Michael Brice-Saddler, Mark Guarino, Justin Jouvenal and Wesley Lowery contributed to this report.

Click The Link below to read full article on WashingtonPost.Com

https://www.washingtonpost.com/nation/2018/11/14/police-chief-saddened-after-officer-killed-armed-guard-brave-man-who-was-doing-his-best/?utm_term=.ab95042aae57

1 Month Later, Since I Became A Father Again

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On this day, 4 weeks ago, I became a father for the second time. Today, September 14, 2018 marks 1 month since my son was born. Derek Kingston-Carter Bernard was born August 14, 2018 11:18pm, 6 lbs 9 oz.

During my wife’s pregnancy, I had to really wrap my head around having a second child. I wasn’t over excited, because in my mind, I was a father already. I’ve already been through this. So, to me it wasn’t a big deal.

Growing up I never considered making my son a Jr. I didn’t want my children to have even my last name because of its origin. My father’s last name is Livingston and my mother’s last name is Wilson. So you’re probably wondering how I ended up with the last name “Bernard”? It’s actually an interesting story:

When my mother was pregnant with me in prison, she carried the alias surname Bernard. So naturally when she gave birth to me during this time the name Bernard was given to me instead of Wilson or Livingston.

I’ve always felt like a bit of an outsider with a different last name. The Livingston and the Wilson name had strong ties to my childhood and my community. Growing up in Brownsville, if you were a Livingtson, then you were automatically somebody.

So naturally, the Bernard name felt like a curse to me. Especially under the circumstances that of how I became one. However, once my son was born everything changed for me.

I felt more excited about becoming a father again. I took pride in my name. I took pride in God blessing me with a beautiful wife, and an amazing daughter who carried the name so well. And now a little man who would continue our family’s legacy all through what I chose to create through the Bernard name.

The Bernard name is now a blessing and a new life line. God has blessed me with a second child. He is my Jr. and my namesake. He is Derek Bernard aka DJ. He is Kingston meaning from the estate of a king!

If there is one thing that the Bible has taught me, it is the importance of names and bloodline. Whenever God created a new character in someone like Abram or Peter or Saul etc. He chose to change their name. I am grateful that God saw fit to create in me a man born from such trauma a new name.

The name Bernard will represent overcoming the odds, rising above poverty and being an inspiration to others!!!!!

Click the link below to read more about the founder, Derek Bernard

Who Is Derek Bernard?

 

 

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Remember, it takes a village!

– Derek Bernard

What Was Your Father Like Pt. 2

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“What Was Your Father Like” Part II

Over the years I’ve observed a lot of parents try to fill voids in their childhood by recreating with their children what they wish their parent’s had created with themselves.

A lot of times parents attempt to help their children by giving them lots of material things, because they felt they missed out, by not having it themselves. This can create a reverse effect of what parents are actually hoping to achieve.

For instance, My father didn’t buy me the sneakers I wanted growing up. Therefore I will buy my children all the latest sneakers to hit market.

There are many ways to evaluate and reflect on this circumstance that leads to a healthy impact on your parenting skills.

Everyone has a different experience with their father. Here is a few things we can reflect on:

  • A. What your father did or didn’t do.
  • B. How your father made you feel.
  • C. How can you recreate that experience in your parenting relationships with your children?
  • D. How you can reverse a negative effect, so your children have a positive and healthy relationship with you.

 

Feel free to like and comment below. We would like to hear your thoughts and views on “How was your father”

Click the link to read “How was your father” pt.1

4 Reasons and Other Factors Why Dads Are Important (Too)!!!!!

Moms are nurtures and create the foundation, with love and care. They are also the backbone of the family. However, DADS are important too, and here is a few fun facts

1 – New fathers involvement and caring for their child in the first days of child’s life can have a positive long-term benefits

2 – Higher quality father-daughter relationships is a positive factor against engagement in risky sexual behaviors.

3 – Fathers are critical to the emotional welfare of their children; they are caretakers and disciplinarians.

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4 – An active father provides an important foundation for his children and their ongoing security, stability and development

 

Here are more factors about fatherhood: 

Source: https://www.fatherhood.org/fatherhood-data-statistics

Mothers are no more important than fathers in a child’s life. There are numerous of reasons for men to be absent in their children lives, however, a father’s presence can have a major positive impact on his children. We are taking road to encourage men to be involved more in their children lives.

We would like to hear more reasons from why fathers are important too. Feel free to hit the like button and comment below….

 

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Remember, it takes a village!

– Derek Bernard

 

What Was Your Father Like? (part 1 of 2)

Everyone can attest to their own experiences with their father. No two relationships are alike.

How great of an impact would you say your father-son relationship has made on your views of fatherhood?

If I had to describe my father, I would say that he is a pretty cool guy. Many like his style, he’s sharp, articulate, well dressed, and smooth and very likable.

He is definitely the type of guy women marvel, and love to bring home to meet their parents. I could even go as far to say that in the eyes of a log of women, he’d make the perfect guy to marry, have children with and live happily ever after.

Unfortunately the potential that I just described above never fully meet my father. He became lost in the street life of drugs and crime. My father’s struggle has robbed him of living his fullest life that I know and believe he is well capable of.

I can recall my father in and out of prison for most of my life. All the prison stints have robbed me and my father of many father/son moments. I emphasize with my dad, I know that he has a desire to be a better parent, however, the bad decisions he’s made has continually forced us apart.

I can recall countless times being asked growing “when is your father coming home from jail”. Still to this day I am often asked if my father is home yet. It has become the normal conversation revolving around my dad.

We all have different experiences that shake our relationships with our fathers.
I think that as children we have these innocent perceptions of our fathers as supermen, until that innocence encounters some sort of disappointment.

We can’t blame children for this, after all fathers are the first men children encounter. Fathers set the example of what a man is supposed to be.

I honestly believe this has a huge effect on how we look at parenting in life as well.

We choose to see the best qualities in our fathers and we choose to discard the not so good ones. Feel free to leave a comment below and share your relationship with your father and how great of an impact would you say your father-son relationship has made on your views of fatherhood?

Click the link to read  “How was your father” pt. 2

 

Please subscribe to our Email List, comment below, like, and share!

Remember, it takes a village!

– Derek Bernard